The first English song I heard was Staying Alive. The first English (well, Englishish) album I bought was The Man-Machine. Last week I decided to revisit my shameful past. Some of the songs hold up surprisingly well. I still love Kraftwerk, SNF (as it was known back in the days) and Donna Summer. Rest of my old collection is pure blackmail material.

I Feel Love, Hot Stuff, Sunset People and of course Love to Love You Baby — I am not too proud to admit my fondness for the Disco Queen. The 17 minute porntastic version of LTLYB was a subject of much speculation among older cousins and their friends.

“You can’t fake this, you know? I hear she actually did it in the studio”, solemnly declared one 15-year old.

“NO WAY. ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

I was not allowed to take part in this cultural exchange. What would a scrawny little kid know? One day I walked in on my sister’s friend, doing note perfect rendition of the hair-raising passage. As far as I could tell, she was faking it.

Giorgio Moroder (Commendatore Moroder to you) who produced most of those hits, was also loved by the party people. You had to have From Here to Eternity and E=MC2.

Around this time, a neighbourhood wit started calling me Giorgio. It was quickly ratified by the local tapori committee and I became Giorgio. I would have loved to go Scarface on his ass, but the boy had 12 years and 50 kilos on me. My batting average was destroyed. Wicketkeeper chanting Giorgio, Giorgio and a dancing slip cordon making vocoder noises will do that to anyone. But the Gods of Disco rule with fabulous iron hand. That (Donna’s) summer, my tormentor was caught in flagrante w/ neighbour’s hot wife. The neighbour got emotional. The boy’s mother had to use her chappal to good use. By way of repentance the boy cleaned the safe and ran away to Goa. Few months later, the prodigal son returned home. His parents married him off to an even hotter looking woman. None of which has to do anything with the subject at hand, but I had a story to tell.

Here are couple of Desi versions of the Moroder beat.

And here’s the queen herself. The dude in white is quite special.

(To be continued)