“My ass hurts”, complains Jackie Chan before final fight. Sitting through this endless yawnfest, I know how he feels.

Chan wears shoes in temple and pisses of a floating sadhu. Sherawat wears malfunction-prone ghagra choli and pisses of conservative aunties. In between East on East ignorance and BS spewing mystics, there are just two YouTube length scenes worth watching:

• Vintage Chan goofiness in glue factory (imaginatively named Raj Glue)

• Blink and miss Kalaripayattu moves

Two enthusiastic middle fingers.